Several months ago a friend of mine approached me and said that she felt led to ask me to help her teach a Tuesday night girls' Bible Study. I was SO excited.
Let me preface all of this with a backstory.
When I was 16 I went to church camp with my youth group and I rededicated my life to Christ. They asked all the new believers to come up on stage, and the stage was filled with teens beaming with new promise. I wasn't a new believer, so I stayed on the floor. THEN they asked people to come up who felt like they were being called into the ministry. To this day, I can't explain it. It was like a magnetic force that was pulling me up to that stage. A friend walked with me to the steps, but I went up alone. I stood there together with people who had felt the same call that I had. We smiled and hoped and dreamed together for a breif moment. I got home, told my parents, told a few more people. I got home, was on fire for God...
and then I turned 18 and turned into a stupid 18 year old.
7 years later, I'm a 25 year old stay-at-home mom to two awesome (and insane) little girls.
I went to college for Religious Studies, but then the hubby joined the Army and we went all the way to Washington, and it was like a dream of mine had died.
So when my friend approached me about doing this Bible study, I was beyond excited. A spark ignited that my soul hadn't seen in almost a decade.
Tuesday nights were AWESOME! Just a small group of girls, we usually had 4 or 5 (2 of them were her daughters), and I was just as content as I could be.
I was introduced to the youth pastor, and I told him I would like to help out if I could. I really didn't think I would actually get to do anything. I thought they might let me teach every now and then.
Then I started singing with the praise team.
There's a back story here too. When I was a little girl, people loved to hear me sing, but as I got older, nobody cared anymore. I didn't sing nearly as well as the people around me. I wasn't picked for solos, I didn't make a few audition choirs, I didn't even make it into the Chorale the first time I tried out for University choir. I assumed and accepted that I was a mediocre singer, and happily sat in the background as my alto self.
Then they asked me to try out for the Praise Team at church, and I made it, and then they put me on stage twice a month. I was SO confused. Nobody had told me I had a good voice for years and years and years. I didn't think I was anywhere close to good enough to sing in front of people, and yet, there I was, twice a month, on stage, singing. Terrified, self-conscious, and confused... singing.
Once the youth pastor got to know us a little better, and had heard me sing, he approached me about an opportunity that I NEVER thought I would be qualified for: Youth Praise Team Leader. 1- I don't read music well 2 - I know like |-----| <That much about music theory 3 - I play ZERO instruments 4 - I don't have a great voice 5 - Like 3 of the youth knew me.
Despite all the reasons for me not to take the position, my brain was like YYYYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSS! I mean, screaming, whooping, and hollering, YES. It was weird, so I said yes.
And here we are 4 months into this thing, and my life has been overhauled.
I thought I would totally bomb, but I was excited to try because I thought I would have the opportunity to pour into these young people and love on them. I thought I could be a good influence and a source of encouragement. I thought I could offer them some life advice and coping mechanisms. I thought, I thought, I thought... wrong.
These young people have poured into me more than I could have EVER poured into them. They are the ones teaching me life lessons and loving on me. They have influenced me and been a source of encouragement to me. They have had some very wise advice, and just being in their presence has been a coping mechanism all its own.
Our little band is so awesome, y'all. I come home every Wednesday night after performing and I just cry. I am SO proud. They are such talented individuals. They're just awesome. We took a rag-tag group of people, with 3/4 of us not having a clue what to do, and now we make music. We make rocking Christian music. We praise our God with song... and it is awesome.
Never in my life have I felt more fulfilled, humbled, overjoyed, or right. This is where I am supposed to be right now. This is where my heart is. When the Army tells us we have to leave KY, they're going to have to pry me away from that Youth Department with a crane (if I don't start hitting the gym more, that's the instrument they'll have to use).
I am SO grateful for the opportunity to work with such an awesome group of people. The youth are awesome, the youth workers are awesome, the youth pastor is awesome, the youth band is awesomest.
The craziest thing about working in the youth department for me, is the sense of self-accountability I have to have now. When they ask questions, I want to make sure I know the answers, so I've been reading the Bible like it's my job. I try to watch what I say and what I do, because people are always watching. Young, impressionable minds are watching.
I looked up to my youth pastor so much. He poured into us, and looked up to him more than he even knows. He was so influential in my life. If it hadn't been for him, I wouldn't be who I am today.
If someone looks up to me even half that much, I want them to have something to look at. I want to be a Godly example that's the real deal. No faking, just real life fruit-bearing.
Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them. -- Matthew 7:17-20
THIS is my ministry. This little praise band is my ministry. I think I royally suck at it most days, but I absolutely, positively, love it with every fiber of my being. They're patient with me, and we all learn together. If they don't ask me to do it again next year, I will be okay, because this has changed my life forever. I am eternally grateful to be a part of something so amazing. You guys have literally rocked my world.
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